sunrise found me feeling like shit on a nearly abandoned highway. cut deep and sewn together with tar. i pulled to the side of the road, crossed an irrigation ditch, slipped over a barbed wire fence, walked through a cornfield and decided i shouldn't blame myself. it never turns out the way i dream anyways. my feet are covered in scratches carved out by loose sticks and filled with soil reeking simultaneously of decay and regeneration. the only word left to me is goodbye. i could wander this field forever, but i realize as i get closer to the edge that the sweet honey corn blossoms are dipping at the top. Their stalks hung heavy, over watered, and swollen. Suddenly i can't stop thinking of hospital waiting rooms. Sweet honey blossom of death and the swollen buds of unwashed bodies. i stayed there at the edge of the field. knees dug deep into soil with my head in my hands and cried until i laughed so hard i couldn't remember why I was kneeling in a cornfield.
Carli.
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