As much as I feel I should be in the studio creating all the time, like my fellow residents, I remind myself, don't push something if it's not ready. I have 6 things going on, I think they might be complete, with a few exceptions. But a constant reminder needs to be put in place, calm down and it'll come. I do not need to be constantly creating, as much as my brain tells me I'm slacking, being lazy. I am here and I am working.
While I've been away, I've been making line drawings, sewing canvas (this is quite satisfying yet frustrating), and using pastels. Things I normally never do. I miss my 3-D forms, but that part of me has broken off. When someone pushes you so far, and no longer sees you as being viable, you stop creating. I no longer want to be associated with that. Even when things are looking good for you, they look down at you like you're scum, when you used to be their prized possession. So nice.
The politics behind school really dictates who and how you are right outside school. How do you break that binding rope? You get into a residency and do what you want.
I am very lucky to be here, and am enjoying the people and skies surrounding me.
Come on let it snow and snow.
I'll be back soon, cannot wait to be home again.
love,
b.
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